318 - I-Could-Care-Less–WTF–

Can people please stop saying “I could care less” when they in fact — judging by the context the phrase appears in — mean “I couldn’t care less”? What drives these people to such a crazy I’m saying this, but I really mean pretty much the opposite phrase?

“Who cares about that?! I could care less that oranges are smaller than grapefruits!” Well, it would seem you care: apparently you could care less than you do, so by implication you have some level of caring on the relative sizes of pieces of fruit!

Do you really mean “I couldn’t care less”, indicating that you don’t possess a level of caring lower than that you wish to apply to this particular subject? It would seem so, but you insist upon actually saying completely the opposite thing! Arg!

And yes, I could care less about this, but I don’t because it is irritating as hell! Just like all these italics and exclaimation marks! AND TYPING IN ALL CAPS! Stop writing it! Now! Think of the kittens*!

(* Of course, we all know that, each time you say I could care less when you mean I couldn’t care less, God kills a kitten.)