454 - Tea-and-Sorrow

In the absence of a recent pithy nothing, I decided to write about the current state of tea at work. The State of the Tea address would go badly, should it be made into speech form.

HP, in their infinite money-saving opportunity wisdom one supposes, have decided to move from Twinings to Lipton tea bags. I had no idea such vile tea was available. To summarise, I think that Lipton tea is made from the sweepings from the factory floor (if it is actually made from tea leaves at all).

At the worst end of the spectrum, the Earl Grey is unpalatable, tasting nothing like Earl Grey. It is more like someone told Lipton, “Earl Grey is tea that tastes a bit funny”, and Lipton used this as their sole reference; the tea certainly tastes funny. At best, the Assam and English Breakfast don’t taste too weird, but do taste very weak.

I’ve been forced to take my own tea into work, it’s that bad. How do they expect us to work under such conditions, I ask you?